Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
