okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
