with your own penis?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
