remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
