I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
