Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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