I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
