I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
