I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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