belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
