So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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