Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
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Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
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YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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