I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
