someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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