he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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