I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
