think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
