there's paper in my vomit.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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