I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
