If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
