please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize