We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
that's an acceptable place to lick
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
