She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
