Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
