I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize