having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize