You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
