She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
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Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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