If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
so let's talk penis.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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