and next time when you feel me up, do it right
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
jump out the window naked night went bad
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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