Pappa wants mamma naked
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize