He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
