Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
