God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
