Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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