i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
