i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works