the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.