Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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