I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize