I accidentally burped into my bong.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
