just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
