I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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