You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize