you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
