she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I am available for nakedness
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