dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
