Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he shaved USA in his pubs
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
