All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
