we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
3pm strippers are depressing
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize