we're blogging at a bar
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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