I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
