So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
