quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
