you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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