I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
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I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
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Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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