If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
